Wednesday, 28 March 2007

Killed by Cheese!!!

A robber known as "El Christian" met an ignominious end when he tried to rob from a butcher's shop in Caracas, Venezuela.

A security guard, who was looking after cheese, ham and sausages, managed to grab a frozen cheese of 5 kilos, and batter the head of the assailant who was armed with a knife.

The robber's skull was fractured and he died as a result of the repeated blows from the cheese-wielding guard.

Full story (in Spanish)

Richie's thoughts: A man's gouda do what a man's gouda do...

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

Stupid Lawyers

stupid lawyer

Stupid? I'm sorry but you must have misread me; I would never cast such a slur upon the good sharks, sorry, people who make their humble living in courts throughout the land.

And I would be a fool and a scoundrel to even suggest that these
quotations from are anything other than groundless fiction.

So if any lawyers are reading this, let me say that I for one believe you do a wonderful job, and you don't receive half the money you deserve.

Now, if I could just ask a favour--I have some outstanding parking fines...

Monday, 19 March 2007

Stupid Things We Say

stupid buying decisions

Even the smartest people say stupid things. Now why is that? I guess that circumstances take us by surprise, our minds are distracted, and we end up saying something which fails to communicate our original intention.

I can't help but cringe over some of the stupid things I've said in the past. One particularly painful memory is of the time I was in London and having a browse in Borders--a favourite shop selling books and CD's. Because it's difficult and expensive to get English books in Spain, I was loading up my basket with glee. In fact, I was so elated I even decided to buy the Greatest Hits of the Bee-Gees (one of my guilty pleasures). J-j-j-jive talking...

By chance I got into conversation with one of the shop assistants and he asked me what it was like to live in Spain. I told him it was wonderful and very different to England for numerous reasons, and then I said, "I don't usually talk to shop people."

Now, what I meant was that in Spain the shop assistants are not generally interested in a conversation which doesn't result in an immediate sale. Therefore I don't have the pleasure of engaging them in chit-chat. However, by the look on his face he obviously took it to mean that I was a stuck-up snob who had better things to do than chat with lower-class people. I wanted to explain myself but it was too late, the mistake had been made and before I'd even realised what had happened he'd excused himself to help another shopper.

So now whenever I'm in London I make a real effort to be nice to shop staff and show them that I'm not an elitist tosser. If anything I'm too nice and I will buy anything they try to sell just so they don't think badly of me.

Of course, I still fear that this particular shop guy has told all his friends about the arrogant so-and-so who thought he was above mere mortals, and that there is a whole cult devoted to seeking me out and terminating me with extreme prejudice...

I can only hope that if I am killed by a vengeful retailer, the police won't find a copy of some embarrasing CD in my shopping basket. It would provide the killer with justifiable cause--"Officer, he was going to buy a Bee Gees album! I thought it best to just put him out of his misery."


Saturday, 17 March 2007

stupid criminals

Been a little busy with the new household member, as I'm sure you can all understand. But there is still time to shake my head in disbelief at the following stupid criminals.

How come in films criminals are always geniuses? In real life they are just so stupid, stupid, stupid...