Do you know your family? I mean do you really know your family?
In Malaga, Spain, a man was arrested for sodomising his male cousin--without consent, obviously. How did it happen? Well, according to La Voz de Galicia (article in Spanish) it seems that there was a family get-together and el vino did flow. The victim went to a spare room to sleep things off. When he woke up his trousers were around his ankles and he had a stinging pain in his anus. The accused was on top of him...
Now, to me and you this seems like a clear cut case.
But to make matters worse, the perpetrator's excuse was that he'd got up during the night to go to the toilet, went into the wrong room when he came back and confused his cousin with his wife.
I don't know about you, but I think no matter how drunk I was, I would be able to tell the difference between my MALE cousin and my FEMALE wife.
Surely, the fact that the victim was wearing trousers would have been a bit of a giveaway. Or that his legs were hairy? Or that he had a penis?
Does this idiot think that all gay people are just suffering from a similar momentary confusion of orifice? "Oh, Peter! I'm so sorry, I had no idea you were a man! I thought you were my girlfriend!" Come on, amigo, admit it--you saw your cousin's tasty ass and you wanted some of that backdoor action.
Understandably, the victim had to be restrained from trying to kill his cousin with a kitchen knife. (No information is currently available about the wife's opinion of this sordid affair, nor indeed of whether she bears a close physcial resemblance to her husband's cousin.)
What is clear from this, though, is that family get-togethers can be a real pain in the... Er, sorry, I don't know whether to say "arse" or "vagina". *Scratches chin* Well, what do you know--they are easily confused!