All this talk of accidents has got me thinking about something that still makes me cringe even today.
Let me take you back to the year 1993. I was going on a date with a beautiful girl. I think this was the second or third date we'd been on. Naturally, I wanted to make myself look as good as possible.
Cue hours spent in front of the mirror using hair gel to get my image just right. Damn, I was one handsome guy!
So, I meet the girl at the restaurant and we sit down to order. Everything seems perfect; the atmosphere is relaxed, my hair is glorious and the girl is laughing at my jokes.
The food arrives and I tuck into my hamburger with chips. Hey, do I know what to order to impress a girl or what? The waiter comes over to place a candle on our table and I tuck into my food.
Then it seems like someone has turned up the lights. I look around. The other diners are going about their business. No one seems to notice anything different.
"Have they turned the lights up?" I ask.
The girl looks at me, and her mouth opens in shock. Before I know what's happening, she's slapping at my hair shouting, "Your hair's on fire! Your hair's on fire!"
I reach up and discover that ouch! yes, my goddamn hair is on fire! My girlfriend pours a glass of water over me to douse the flame.
How was I to know that hair gel was flammable! Highly flammable! When I had bent down to eat, the candle must have been close enough to set my crowning glory on fire.
I flick the burnt embers from my head. A terrible smell of burnt, human hair pervades the atmosphere.
The funny thing is, I look around and the diners are still going about their business like nothing happened. What is this? Are they accustomed to people's hair spontaneously bursting into flames? Is that normal in this restaurant?
My girlfriend signals for the waiter to come over. "Don't tell him!" I grimace. I'm embarrassed enough without having the staff know what happened.
"Could I have some more ketchup?" my girlfriend asks the waiter.
Yes, she was one cool chick. And she still is. God knows why she puts up with me, the Human Torch, though...